Menopause advice: Don’t “should” all over yourself!

Shoulds are… well… they just shouldn’t be allowed! You have enough to deal with in menopause, without you or anyone else shaking a finder at you…


Say or think this to yourself: “I really should clean up my diet.”


What happens to your energy?




A “should” might accurately describe something that needs your attention, but it also

– oppresses and depresses us
– makes us feel bad about ourselves, like someone shaking a finger at us
– undermines our confidence in making changes and following through
ultimately saps our energy


Maybe you “should” clean up your diet. And if you did, what would happen?


Most likely you would have more energy! But “shoulding” all over yourself won’t help you get there.


Energetically, a “should” is perfectly designed to prevent you from doing whatever it is you “should” be doing.


What a conundrum!


My best advice? Ask yourself, “What do I want?” If you want more energy, think about what you can do to have more energy.


You could say, “I want more energy, so I am going to stop eating sugar.” Or, “I want more energy, so I am going to go to bed earlier to get more sleep.”


Doesn’t that feel more empowering than saying, “I should give up sugar.” Or, “I should go to bed earlier.” ???


Shoulding all over yourself is never pretty! And it never leads to positive results.


On the other hand, stating your desires and then taking positive action to achieve them is a beautiful thing.


This is also part of growing up – as you enter into this new phase of life called menopause, it signals a new level of maturity. This is when we leave behind ways of speaking and being that don’t serve us and adopt new ways of speaking and being that supports our best self.


Your homework:
1. think of some “shoulds” you have on your mind (we all have them) and
rephrase them in terms of what you want and taking positive action.
Share them with us in the comments below!


Could you use some helpful menopause advice on the positive actions you can take? Try this free guide: the 7 Day Map to Hormonal Balance.

Katherine Miller

Katherine is the founder of As an executive health coach and master plant-powered chef, she specializes in Mbodied Mastery for ambitious professional women, empowering them to live the life they love and make their mark in the world.